Tell me about a time you had to give a colleague difficult feedback.

How to answer this behavioral interview question: a complete STAR example, the mistakes interviewers watch for, and the follow-ups you should expect.

A strong STAR example answer

A colleague on my team — talented and well intentioned — had developed a habit of dominating client meetings. In one review I timed him: he spoke for 38 of 45 minutes, interrupted the client twice, and the follow-up survey rated the meeting 3 out of 5 on feeling heard. As the senior person on the account, giving him that feedback was my responsibility, and I knew his confidence was tied to his presentation style.

I prepared carefully: specific observations with numbers, not impressions, delivered privately the day after the meeting rather than weeks later in a review. I opened by asking how he thought the meeting went, which told me he already sensed part of the problem. Then I shared the talk-time figure and the survey result, and framed the issue around client outcomes rather than his personality — clients who feel heard renew, and this meeting had put a $90,000 renewal at risk.

He was defensive for the first few minutes, but the data made it hard to argue. I proposed a concrete experiment: he would open meetings with a question, cap his own airtime at half, and I would give him a quiet signal when he ran long. Three meetings later, client scores rose to 4.5 out of 5, and the renewal closed. He told me it was the most useful feedback he had received that year — and started bringing me his drafts before client meetings.

How to structure your own answer

• Situation: Describe the behavior with concrete evidence, not impressions.
• Task: Explain why the feedback was yours to give and what was at stake.
• Action: Show your method: timely, private, specific, and tied to outcomes they care about.
• Result: Give the behavior change and how the relationship survived it.

Common mistakes to avoid

• Softening the message so much the person never realizes it was serious feedback.
• Delivering the feedback in front of others or weeks after the fact.
• Attacking personality ("you are arrogant") instead of describing observable behavior.
• Giving the feedback but proposing no concrete path to change.

Follow-up questions to prepare for

Interviewers use follow-ups to verify your story is real. If you use this question in a real interview, expect probes like:

• What if he had gotten angry or shut down completely?
• How do you adjust your feedback style for someone more senior than you?
• Tell me about a time your feedback was ignored. What did you do next?

Related behavioral questions

Keep drilling with these, or browse the complete question bank.